Lesson Learned….I hope

So last night I went to bed like I normally would, around the same time. Problem was I didn’t really sleep, I went to bed and dosed off, but woke up because of a Txt. Found out Dad had rang so rang him back, dosed off again. Over the next few hours this repeated over and over lucky to get 1/2 hours sleep at a time. By 3am I gave up and got out of bed. It’s nearly 8pm now and still not been able to go to sleep. All day I have been a complete zombie hardly able to function. Now understandably this would have something to do with not having slept much. Funny thing is I can normally function a bit on little sleep, used to live off only a few hours sleep a night for weeks on end.

Along with being a bit of a zombie, I don’t seem to be able to recall much from yesterday, I remember I was pretty irritable but that’s about it. I must have done some washing and stuff because it’s all done, but don’t remember actually doing it. My whole body aches, I have had a headache all day, been pretty brain dead, pretty much non-functional. Whilst the quiet has been nice, not being able to do much at the same time not so much. I have been on the lounge pretty much all day, I haven’t written anything in my book. Looking back over some posts earlier I cancelled seeing a friend today, but don’t really remember doing so properly, very fuzzy, so is my vision, kinda blurry.

Then it came time for my next round of medication. Seemed that there were more tablets than I thought there would be, and then it dawned on me. If you don’t take your medication, you’re going to have a bad time. When I only took Pristiq if I missed a dose even by a few hours I knew. I could barely stand up let alone function. Since changing to the Arropax and Seroquel mix I haven’t missed a dose, however seems I did last night and apparently without them sleeping stops as does most of my normal functions but I dont get the dizzy feeling. Instead I am completely useless and have some annoying memory issues.

Thankfully this occurred on a weekend, hopefully after getting some sleep tonight (Assuming I sleep tonight) but this is one of those wonderful things that as a mental health sufferer you get to ‘enjoy’. Not only do you have side affects when your on medication, but if you forget to take it well that’s worse. Talk about addiction.



About malensteptoe
I am work for one of Australia's big 4 banks in the System Admin Team. I am also a mental health sufferer. Currently diagnosed with OCD, MDD, Panic Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and Trichotillomania. I also write books and a blog. I am an advocate for change of the view towards mental health sufferers. We can and are beneficial people in society, with much to offer and contribute. We are not all violent, actually the percentage of violent tendencies in the mentally ill and those without mental illness are no different. You may work with someone right next to someone with mental illness and never know. So maybe it's time to re-evaluate your opinions?

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